Judge Much?

DISCLAIMER: This blog post was written in good fun. It does not reflect the views of anyone associated with this blog in anyway. In addition, it may contain some adult content and/or biblical mockery that may offend some people. If you are one of those people, read on at your own risk or don’t read on at all. Your choice. We all have choices and I choose to not take everything so seriously just as you, the reader, may choose to skip my Thursday blog posts. I am neither a heathen nor an atheist. As a matter of fact, I was raised in the Catholic Church and attended Catholic School for a number of years. Again, this is all in good fun – and laughing makes us all live a little longer. So if you’re ready to turn that frown upside down, read on.

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Hello lovelies! Happy New Year!!

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I am back and ready to dive into some more super strange stories from the Bible. And for my first post of the new year, we’re diving deep into the “do as I say” run around we see from book to book. Today, my dears, we’re calling out the Big Man with what we read in in Leviticus 21:17-24 . And before we do, let’s remind him of his own words:

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Leviticus includes a plethora of “laws” – most happen to be quite ludicrous and laughable, including having sex while menstruating – not my thing, but who am I to judge? But, after rifling through the pages, I’ve come to the conclusion that:

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This is the part of the Bible where whack jobs get the odd notion that homosexuality is punishable by death. To those assholes, I say:

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But, once again, I digress. The part of Leviticus we are discussing happens to discriminate against a different type of persons.

Unknown-2The Blind

Unknown-3A Lame Man

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Those with a flat nose

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images-3Broken footed

images-4Broken handed

Unknown-4Crookbackt

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Dwarfs

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Blemish in the eye

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Or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken

“He Shall Not Approach”

Meaning, they aren’t allowed to worship or sacrifice in the name of God.

All of this begs the question:

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What’s with all the “Jesus Heals” stories???

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I guess that means I’m not going to heaven.

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Cause I wear glasses.

Whatever.

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~Christine

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About Christine Hughes

A few things about me in no particular order: 1. I love the NY Jets (I know, I know...) 2. I love where I live. An hour to NY, Philly and the Jersey shore. 3. I have two boys and they make me laugh hard enough to blow liquids out of my nose. The hubs is funny enough to make me pee my pants. Not that it's ever happened. Of course not. 4. Being a writer is the best job on the planet, and not just because I can wear jammies to work, drink coffee by the gallonful, randomly catch up on my DVR'd shows, troll YouTube, flip on E! News and browse iTunes - all in the name of research. 5. I have some of the best friends in the world - they put up with my inappropriate jokes, foul mouth, strange musings and don't judge me if I drink too much wine on a Tuesday. Just sayin' - a girl needs her friends. 6. Represented by the most fabulous Michelle Johnson of Inklings Literary Agency. I fell into it with her - she is perfectly amazeballs. LOVE!

Posted on January 8, 2014, in Bizarro Bible Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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