Hey Dad! I’m Carrying Your Baby!

DISCLAIMER: This blog post was written in good fun. It does not reflect the views of anyone associated with this blog in anyway. In addition, it may contain some adult content and/or biblical mockery that may offend some people. If you are one of those people, read on at your own risk or don’t read on at all. Your choice. We all have choices and I choose to not take everything so seriously just as you, the reader, may choose to skip my Thursday blog posts. I am neither a heathen nor an atheist. As a matter of fact, I was raised in the Catholic Church and attended Catholic School for a number of years. Again, this is all in good fun – and laughing makes us all live a little longer. So if you’re ready to turn that frown upside down, read on.

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Once again, I’m scratching my head. There is just so much in the Bible that confuses me. Sure, a number of strange stories have obvious morals – like when Onan was struck down for an inaccurately perceived bout of self pleasure – moral of the story? Don’t self pleasure. Okay, I get that. But the story of Lot and his daughters kind of freaks me out. Was it because he had , only 30 lines prior, offered them up to an angry rapist mob? (Who, by the way were not interested.) Was it because their mom didn’t listen and was turned into a pillar of salt? Were they bored? What lesson am I supposed to be learning? Gah! Honestly, sometimes I feel like:

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But, whatever, maybe that’s just me. Let’s move on.

Genesis 19: 30-38

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So, to set it up, the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah had just perished. Struck down by God. But that isn’t the weird part of the story. You know what? I’ll just dive into this one.

Characters: Lot, Oldest Daughter (OD), Youngest Daughter (YD)

OD: What are we going to do? There are no more men for us. Everyone has been destroyed.

YD: I don’t know!

OD: Wait!

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YD: What is it?

OD: Well….

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YD: Ewww. That’s nasty!

OD: It’s the only way!

YD: If you say so…

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And so OD got her father drunk the first night and “lay with him” but he was so drunk he had no idea. The next day, OD woke up and went to her sister.

OD: Ok. You’re turn.

YD: Do I have to?

OD: You want to have babies, right?

YD: I guess…

OD: Then do it.

That night, YD got her father drunk as her sister had the night before and “lay with him” as well. Again, Lot was so obliterated, he had no idea what was happening to him. Can you imagine?

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Anyway, cut to a few months later and wasn’t lot surprised to find:

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Genesis 19: 36- 38:

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

It’s like a story out of the Hills Have Eyes or something…

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~Christine

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 ******Just wanted to let everyone know, my debut novel TORN has moved to a new House. And with   a new home comes new decor… Be on the lookout for the new cover release of my YA Paranormal TORN!!!******

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About Christine Hughes

A few things about me in no particular order: 1. I love the NY Jets (I know, I know...) 2. I love where I live. An hour to NY, Philly and the Jersey shore. 3. I have two boys and they make me laugh hard enough to blow liquids out of my nose. The hubs is funny enough to make me pee my pants. Not that it's ever happened. Of course not. 4. Being a writer is the best job on the planet, and not just because I can wear jammies to work, drink coffee by the gallonful, randomly catch up on my DVR'd shows, troll YouTube, flip on E! News and browse iTunes - all in the name of research. 5. I have some of the best friends in the world - they put up with my inappropriate jokes, foul mouth, strange musings and don't judge me if I drink too much wine on a Tuesday. Just sayin' - a girl needs her friends. 6. Represented by the most fabulous Michelle Johnson of Inklings Literary Agency. I fell into it with her - she is perfectly amazeballs. LOVE!

Posted on July 25, 2013, in Bizarro Bible Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. That’s just…weird. Ick. Yuck.
    And yet…people have fought to the death over the Bible as a source of absolute truth. Modern sensibilities would allow you skip (or otherwise ignore) this little story of Lot and his daughters…and maybe another scene further on…or a few lines over here. But if we start cutting and pasting which parts are of the ‘absolute truth’ are really, really true, then we can more-or-less make it say anything we want it to say. And that is where my small human brain crunches to a stop…leaving room for faith.

    • That’s the point I make with these posts. In my opinion, which may not be worth much, the Bible and other religious doctrines should be looked at as something not to be taken literally – something to be felt, to guide not to necessarily emulate verbatim. If all these stories were to be, then there would be no room for faith. I am able to poke a little fun because I have that faith – and to me, faith isn’t literal.

  2. I don’t know what to say. I am literally speechless. What? Those girls spent too much time learning from the people in Sodom and Gomorrah. What?

  3. This did make me laugh. I’ve always hated that story, but the point isn’t to emulate their behavior. Lot made a lot of mistakes, as did others in the Bible. The Old Testament teaches us about the history of the Israelites and the other people of their time. At this point, we’re pre-Israel, so these are the stories of the kingdoms Israel faced later.

  1. Pingback: Father of the Year! | New Stories, Old Book.

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