DISCLAIMER: This blog post was written in good fun. It does not reflect the views of anyone associated with this blog in anyway. In addition, it may contain some adult content and/or biblical mockery that may offend some people. If you are one of those people, read on at your own risk or don’t read on at all. Your choice. We all have choices and I choose to not take everything so seriously just as you, the reader, may choose to skip my Thursday blog posts. I am neither a heathen nor an atheist. As a matter of fact, I was raised in the Catholic Church and attended Catholic School for a number of years. Again, this is all in good fun – and laughing makes us all live a little longer. So if you’re ready to turn that frown upside down, read on.
Songs of Solomon
Last week I mentioned the Songs of Solomon and their possible connection to erotica. Without the threat of being stoned to death, I’d like to expand on that notion. Let’s look at it from a different point of view. Remember, I’m not one for flowery love poems and I am always bound to find fault with them…If you see it as a love poem, so be it. But this is my blog post and I write what I want.
Song of Songs 4
New International Version (NIV)
4 How beautiful you are, my darling! (Why thank you!)
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats (I’m sorry, what?)
descending from the hills of Gilead.
(In reference to the above stanza, maybe it’s me, but I’m not sure I dig the whole ‘you’re teeth are like shorn sheep’ thing. And as for the remark that none of my teeth are alone? Maybe because I have decent dental care?)
(Have you ever seen what a half of a pomegranate looks like? Pretty sure that isn’t a compliment.)
built with courses of stone[a];
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
(I can’t really make fun of the above, it’s kinda nice…)
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions’ dens
and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!
(That’s nice…that’s what girls are made of.)
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments (undergarments?)
is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (if you say so…)
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates (Again with the pomegranates?)
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,
14 nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.
15 You are[b] a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.
There you have it. A probably misunderstood explanation of Song of Songs 4.
Posted on June 6, 2013, in Bizarro Bible Stories and tagged Bible, biblical fanfic, Biblical FanFiction, Bizarre, Bizarre Bible Stories, Christine Hughes, fiction, New Stories, Old Book. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.